Atiqa Victoria ::ENGLISH BLOOPERS - MALAYSIAN STYLE::

Very often, bloopers originate from students’ inclination to translate Bahasa Melayu literally into English. I’ve heard of the blooper ‘being in the well’ bandied around but still reeled when squarely hit by one. It came not as a classroom assignment but the way of a personal letter. Marina’s salutation was already ten minutes longer than the straightforward ‘Dear teacher’, because it contained extraneous ingredients meticulously translated word for word from the Malay format.

Then she wrote:

I am in the well. (Saya berada dalam keadaan sihat)

I remained cool and condescending, smiling at her valiant attempt at translating the words. Then she plaintively proceeded to show her concern for me with ‘I hope you are in the well too’. I froze, trying to visualise both of us sitting in the well, before convulsing with laughter!

p/s: I am in the well means ‘Saya berada dalam perigi’ in Malay

Another source of bloopers is misspelling. When a word couched in a particular context is misspelled, it could send an entirely different signal from the one intended. I care not to think of the innumerable times I’ve had to use my red ball-pen to strike off ‘massage’ and revert it to its intended form of ‘message’ in: 'I gave him a massage’! Teaching PMR and SPM students at tuition centre , I had to be sure that I would not be misconstrued for teaching anything bordering in the lewd!

Sometimes, bloopers are caused by a ‘slip of a mind’. The words are there but they come out in a non-sequential order. In a recent classroom assignments, students had to write a directed essay entitled ‘How to change a punctured tyre’. Diagrams as well as key words are pertaining to the title were supplied. Emily executed the first few steps with precision in flawless Englis. Then, however, she took a tumble. Her thought channels must have short-circuited and she produced this gem: “After that, you jack the weel and spare the tyre!”

“Why the sudden sympathy for the tyre?” I asked her later when returning the assignment. She looked at me sheepishly while the class rocked with laughter.

Some bloopers come in very picturesque language. I still like the one where Prema described Cameron Highlands as being ‘air-conditioned’. Other favourites in my repertoire are when I’m invariably wished ‘Good Night’ even before the programme has started and am asked if I could keep something in my car ‘bonnet’ when it is meant to go into the booth. The latter two of course, are products of literal translation.

As much as I have enjoyed savouring some the many bloopers that have come my way, I am ready to take a break. The deliveryman has arrived, so I’m all set to watch the burger while eating TV. Care to join me, anyone?